


Blur

by ieroangel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-10
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 00:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ieroangel/pseuds/ieroangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world slows down when you go in for the kill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blur

Some things are best left dirty and untouched. Meant to be unscattered to wind that was never there, untorn and tossed into an unlit fireplace. Sometimes you have to leave things dirty for them to stay clean.

We were a tangle of words and knots that made me feel uneasy, ready to be unsealed and sealed again correctly, we were dancing with the devil, yet we were seen as angels in the eyes of God.

Even Lucifer once belonged in heaven.

To you, I am hollow, a bitch, a sir, a number on a list of kill counts, the best of the best but the worst of the best, a stone cold monster, flawless, skilled, emotionless, dark, a mask hidden within a cape that means nothing to me and everything to you. You love my flaws but you hate my soul.

Even Lucifer couldn’t convince them to let him stay in the sky.

That is where it began, for me, and ended, for everything else.

***

When you are fighting Titans, it looks like a blur. One clean slice, one quick kill, or in many cases, one quick spray of blood. It is no blur to me. The world slows down when you go in for the kill. You can feel the power ready at your fingertips, you can hear your heart pounding in your throat, you can taste the salt in the bloody air. 

The blur comes after.

I had never fallen before.

It was standing behind me with a dull gleam in its eyes and flesh in its teeth, a pitiful sight, to most. It didn’t know what it was doing. Then again, neither did I.   
The most methodical way was to leap diagonally from the left and twist around to slash the neck, which I normally could do effortlessly.

I didn’t plan out that it could move, too.

Then again, I didn’t plan out that any of this would happen, to be fair.

I don’t plan for change, and I don’t much like it either.

Or I didn’t then, anyway.

I felt the wrongness in the air when the world did not slow and my blade did not rise and my body twisted and blurred with stone. And then I only felt weakness, and pain, and you. The thing was, I had never cared much about any of the three at all. 

***

When your mind is a living internal hell, it jumps about quite a lot.

And my mind was screaming.

No, I think it was you.

“Are you alive, sir?”

It’s hard to think with screaming in your mind. I wonder how some people stand it.

“Corporal, are you awake?”

To be honest I barely minded whether I woke up or not, for the time being. Not to say I wished death upon myself or anything of the likes (quite too eternal for my taste), but I wasn’t entirely sure 

First of all, you were being especially loud and incredibly irritating.

I couldn’t exactly see you, physically, but I could see you in my mind, and that was enough.

Minds do funny things when they’re injured.

I heard the voice of someone else but it was blurred in my ears. Only you seemed to be clear in my head and that made me worried, because that might’ve meant that you weren’t there at all. That I was making you up.

Even so, why would I think of you, anyway?

“’Lo? Rivaille?”

And yet, I hadn’t fallen, not yet.

The world slows down when you go in for the kill. You can feel the power ready at your fingertips, you can hear your heart pounding in your throat.

You can taste lips on yours in the bloody air.

The blur comes after.

(WAKE UP! WAKE UP! DAMNIT, I LOVE YOU! PLEASE WAKE UP! WAKE UP!)


End file.
